Thursday, August 23, 2012


Sometimes, I wish I had the answers to life and everything that is going on.  I don’t get why things happen.  It’s a cliché to say but life sure is a mystery. 

My grandfather died this past Tuesday, and writing about it is of most comfort right now.  

He had diabetes and had suffered with it a long time. His body just basically shut down. 

I visited my family at the ER and saw him after he had passed.  He looked like he was sleeping and like he would wake at any moment.  That is how peaceful he looked. 

As I stood in front of him and looked at him, it’s an overwhelming feeling to know that although he is physically there, he was gone.  I thought about where his spirit could be and whether he was around us and if he can see us.  I was thinking about that because I have read stories of people who experienced the afterlife briefly but came back to life. In some of the stories, the person can see themselves dead on the hospital bed and the people standing around, so I just wondered. 

It is a time such as the one being in front of my deceased grandfather where my beliefs are reaffirmed that there is more to life than just the human race and this planet. 

If you can’t see something, then how can you believe it?  That is a valid question by people who do not believe in God.  I have wondered it myself. 

So that brings me to wonder about souls and spirits.  If they don’t exist, what kept him alive?  What keeps your heart beating? Even if you are healthy, what keeps your heart beating?   

As humans we see each other every day.  We interact, function, work, etc.  We are alive and breathing.  Although I can talk to you and look you straight in the eye, what keeps you alive?  I can’t see what keeps you alive.  Are we just dead after we die and nothing more? We are just made to be in coffins forever or to be ashes forever? 

I think about when I was first pregnant with my son.  How did he come to be? How did I even know he was there besides just a positive pregnancy test?  We now have the wonderful technology of ultrasounds, and I was able to see my son when he was just a blinking dot on the ultrasound screen.  It was the most magical moment of my life.  What about those people back in time when ultrasounds weren’t around, up until the baby was born, how did they know that there was a person living inside of them?  They may have felt the baby, but can’t see the baby.  The miracle of babies is another reaffirmation of my belief in God. 

These are just my thoughts; I've been fascinated with God since I was a child.  Although I cannot see God, faith is really what keeps my beliefs strong.  Yet, I know and respect those against the belief of God and that say he is a myth.  I see their points.  I certainly continue reading on about atheism and science’s view because heck, I would be a liar to write that I have never been skeptical.  I still always have questions.  However, I don’t find that science has all the answers.  I think it is okay for one to acknowledge and say that they do not have all the answers. 

I am thankful for my family and that through difficult times, God is always reliably there for me.